As part of this blog, we invite readers who have experienced pregnancy loss or stillbirth to share their stories with us. You can submit your story on our Share Your Experiences page.
We’re very grateful to Jade for getting in touch with her experience. Thank you, Jade, and we wish you all the best.
This year in March (2018) my partner and I found out I was pregnant. The pregnancy itself was not planned but it was however a wanted pregnancy.
Neither of us had experienced any kind of pregnancy in our relationship or any others so we were clueless on what to expect. We told our families rather early on (around 8 weeks) and planned for our future with a baby. Unfortunately this wasn’t to be. At 10 weeks I began to bleed. Light at first which then became heavier. My doctor referred me to EPU and I had a scan. The scan didn’t show a heart beat and we were told that we needed to speak to a doctor.
The doctor we saw gave me a blood test to check HCG and asked me to return 2 days later for another for comparison.
I was very anxious for my results and counted the days for my next blood test, however on the day I was phoned by my doctor and told to go in for a scan not a blood test. I made sure my bladder was full and arrived at New Cross EPU for another scan. I waited for an hour to be seen and was taken into a small consultation room. My doctor apologised and said she had given me the wrong information – they wouldn’t be giving me a scan or a blood test today. I was confused and angry, The doctor informed me that this was in my best interest and that having a blood test would only make me anxious. I requested a second opinion but was turned away.
The next day I had heavier bleeding and clots. I called 111 and they referred me to a walk in centre. The doctor at the walk in was very sympathetic and sent me to the emergency room at the maternity ward. The emergency room at the maternity ward were less sympathetic and I saw a nurse who took down my symptoms and I waited for a doctor.
The doctor arrived and looked at some notes. It was the same doctor who refused to give me a blood test the previous day. She told me that she would not offer me any other advice other than to wait for 2 weeks to see if the pregnancy was successful. I was discharged and sent home.
I was not given any advice on what to expect from a miscarriage or that I would be in pain or pass any remains. I was not advised to keep any remains for inspection so at home the night I was sent away from hospital I lost my pregnancy alone and into my toilet. All of this on my 30th birthday.
I returned to the hospital 2 weeks later which showed that my pregnancy was all gone and the only advice I was offered was that my next period may be heavier or lighter than usual due to miscarriage. There was no mention of help or any leaflets given or the process for trying again. I was sent home and that was it.
My story does have a happy ending. I am currently 19 weeks pregnant and the support I have received from NHS is much better the second time around.