As part of this blog, we invite readers who have experienced pregnancy loss or stillbirth to share their stories with us. You can submit your story on our Share Your Experiences page.
We’re very grateful to Georgina for getting in touch with her experience. Thank you, Georgina, and we wish you all the best.
I lost my baby boy Saul at 22 weeks in November 2016. At the 20 week scan they found heart abnormalities and this was confirmed by a specialist as tricuspid artresia, a condition where a valve in the heart does not form and this causes half the heart not to develop. We were given options but due to the severity of the problems we chose to terminate the pregnancy as it seemed the most loving thing we could do for our baby.
I had to have an injection to put him to sleep which I found the most traumatic moment of the whole ordeal and I was induced three days later. I was given a private bereavement suite in the hospital and the care we received from everyone there was amazing.
We had him blessed in the hospital and then went home to plan his burial. I couldn’t face anyone so we decided on a private burial with just myself and my husband.
We had ongoing support from the hospital bereavement Midwife and councillor and I’m still in touch with them 12 months later.
Three months after loosing Saul I had the courage to go to a sands meeting and this was like a lightbulb going off, other people were feeling exactly how I was and no one looked at me like I was crazy when I said what I was feeling and how low I had got.
A lot of friends didn’t understand or know what to say so kept their distance. I had a handful of friends who continued to keep in touch but I have lost a lot of what I thought were close friends as they just didn’t understand why a month or two later I wasn’t back to normal.
What I’ve realised is that the only people who can truly understand the emotions and pain that you are going through are people who have been through it themselves and those who work with these people everyday.
Having Saul has changed me completely, I have learnt so much about myself and have made changes to my life that I would never have had the courage to do before I lost him. It has also brought me and my husband closer together, we had real challenges in the first few months but we made it through together stronger than ever.
I would urge anyone going through this to get as much help and support as you can, it’s the most difficult time in my life by far but it does get better and makes you realise what’s important in your life.